How thirsty is a cow really?

So, it has been a while since I have written a new post, but I mean really, what do you expect. I can't think straight! It is like everyday I will say to myself, "I need to write that down," but do I ever? NO! When I finally sit down to type, it is 11 at night and my brain is mush. So I am going to try my best to remember ANYTHING!

Jake has his first t-ball game tomorrow and he is very excited. I might be pushing him to be more excited than he really is, but i just can't help myself. Do you ever feel as a mom that when the kids are fighting or just doing something that they should not, that you try to engage them in conversation because you are JUST PLAIN TIRED of punishing them or correcting them? Well, I have been ding that lately with Jake. I prefer to call it MIND CONTROL. It makes me sound powerful and looks better than me just being plain crazy when I am chasing them and trying to spank them or dragging them to time out with the kids yelling "You scare me!" Well, then GOOD! I am suppose to be scary when I am mad, but obviously I am not scary enough because you go back to doing what I punished you for five minutes after you get out of timeout! I guess scary is overrated. It is like being afraid of Scooby Doo shows (which I was very much so as a kid). Anyway, I think I got off subject- SEE! It is how my brain works these days. I developed a serious case of ADD after having kids.

Back to Jake and t-ball. So while driving in the car, (my kids are so crammed together because, well, my car is paid for and we are just making due with three large car seats very close to each other in which the kids can all too easily pester one another without really trying instead of getting a new car that comes with a car note) Jake starts arguing with his sisters as usual, and so to get his mind off the girls, I asked him if he was super excited about his very first baseball game this weekend. Well, there is another problem. Preschoolers and time don't get each other. Jake asked when the game was and I said tomorrow. BIG mistake- HUGE! Tomorrow to a preschooler must be the 8th day of the week. "When is it going to be tomorrow mom?" "Well Jake, after today, it will be tomorrow. " "But that is a long time away! When will it get here?" I tried to tell him that when he goes to sleep and wakes up that tomorrow will then be today. Oh heaven help me (can you see where this is going or is my Muthahood ADD typing this entry?) Now instead of Jake fighting with his sisters, he is now frustrated with me and I can't fix it. I am probably going to really mess this kid up.

So tonight, we went to a birthday party. "Ain't No party like a west Coast party..." until one of the McMillan Amigos gets injured. I am starting to think that we have been cursed with accident prone children. Or the insurance company has put a chip in my kids in which they have a remote that triggers one or all of my kids to get injured and we have to go and pay them more money than they are already taking from us. Either way, they get paid and we once again get lucky and are not turned it to DHS. Tonight, it was just Jake and Sienna because Kassidy spent the night with her Tia and Pop. Jake was overly nice and protective of Sienna. Jonathan and I just kept looking at each other every time Jake would call Sienna to come slide with him or ask us where his sister was. It was a little creepy, but we were just trying to enjoy the moment because tomorrow will be a new day and instead of music from Little House on the Prairie , it will be music from James Bond, Die Another Day! So, Sienna busted her lip and then fell off backwards from the table while eating her hot dog and since I was not in there, I was told it was really bad. Well, OF COURSE it was! It is my child isn't it? We kind of have a family motto these days "Go hard or don't go at all!" Hummmmm.....

On our way home, I just knew they would fall asleep within 2 minutes, but it wasn't. Jonathan couldn't eat the hot dogs because he is a freak and can't eat any chicken. YES HE IS! I know I know what you are thinking..."what do yall eat?" Well...everything but chicken. So, Jonathan went into to get a pizza and Jake decides he is thirsty and this is how it goes...

"Mom, I am as thirsty as a cow!" In which I reply the only thing I knew how, "How thirsty is a cow Jake?" "No mom, I am now thirsty as a chick. So So SO thirsty!" I then tried to calm him and say, we are on our way home and we will get you something to drink. But now he must be in dehydration mode because he informed me that his diagnosis has worsen and he is as thirsty as a tree now. What is a mother to do? Her son is dying of thirst; though, he really just drank 2 capri suns 10 minutes earlier. So, I go back to my "mind control," and ask him if he was super excited about his very first baseball game tomorrow. And here we go again..."When is tomorrow mom?"

HEAVEN HELP ME (or at least rain down some good medication)

HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!!!!!!

Testing My Sanity Over and Over and Over

This week has been one of those weeks- though it has nothing to do with the kids, it is the airing of The Kennedys that I have been waiting for. It is like reading those dang Twilight books ALL OVER AGAIN! I mean, I don't understand why my children can't understand that I need this week off from fighting and complaining and needing to eat or wipe their bottoms or just plain needing me. Not that these shows last all day every day, but you know how when you are into something, your brain just only wants to focus on that subject. I just wish I could be that way with exercise and dieting. Anywho...the shows were awesome and I have been in a mini depression over something that I knew happened and it was like almost 50 years ago! To see it this way, made me feel like I was part of this family and I now had to mourn- crazy, I know! This is why I tell my husband I cannot watch scary movies- I get way too into movies and it takes a while to shake them after I have watched them.

OK, about the kids since that is what this blog is all about. why is it that the kids demand your attention more when you have something to do or you need to make a phone call or clean the house? I mean, whenever I have nothing to do (like that happens much) they get along and don't care to play with me, but the moment I decide to do something, everything goes catastrophic! I was trying to clean the kitchen the other day and I thing all three kids had a meltdown about something completely unrelated to the other and in 3 different rooms in the house . It was amazing. I just had to stop for a moment and say "Really kids?" I was in amazement over how well they choreographed the meltdowns. Then I had to have the Fo Sho meltdown that stopped them in their tracks which leads me back to The Kennedys that I was watching. I mean, Rose had 9 children and Ethel had 11 children! What secret am I missing? Is it because I am a Southerner (we are suppose to be crazy) or that I am not Catholic or just that I need a few more kids then somehow my sanity is brought back??? Please someone be kind and fill me in on the secret!

Like tonight, Sienna and Kassidy would not stay in the shower. So, I yelled at them to stop running and stay in there or someone would fall and get hurt! Sure enough as soon as I said that Sienna slipped and hit her chin on the entrance to the shower. Two hours later (and a sprained wrist that I got holding her down), we left MEA with 2 stitches. He wanted to do more, but she was freaking out so bad, that he felt 2 would be perfectly fine. The twins were acting like they were on some drug the entire time and on the car ride back home. While trying to calm the twins and get them ready for bed, Sienna found the spackling that Jonathan was about to use on the wall right before she cut her chin and decided to lick some of it! I mean we had not been home for 10 minutes! So, here I go calling poison control. Luckily, she was fine and went to bed fast. Oh, and then Kassidy started saying her toe hurts. So when I looked at it- ingrown toe nail! Whoop! Whoop! Come on Jake- it is your turn. Well, actually not considering all his past injuries.

So now everyone is sound asleep in their own beds and I get to take a bath and try to relax! I am leaving you guys on a funny and sweet note! Jake asked me this afternoon while we were eating some Nutter Butters, "Mom, are these the fruits of the Spirit?" I mean, I need to do better about explaining the food groups to my children! I wish a Nutter Butter was a fruit and would be even better if eating them brought me closer to God, but they don't and I had to tell him no. He took it quite well. In fact he didn't seem to care at all. It is like everything in this precious little mind of his just uses the process of elimination DAILY to figure this world out!

E.T. Phone Home!

So, what are my odds of getting ole Steven to let me borrow E.T. for my daughter Sienna? I mean this child is OBSESSED. What is so funny is that I hated that movie as a kid. It scared the you know what out of me. Though, during our spring break, I think I was forced to overcome my fear of the freakishly weird alien, because we watched the movie about a dozen times. Sienna talk about E.T. everyday like they are BFF. Tonight on our way home from an ever exhausting trip to the grocery store, Sienna became a motor mouth. What was she talking about you ask....you guessed it- E.T. It kind of went something like this...

Oh momma, where is E.T.? Where is he? Is he coming back? He didn't get to play with me at my house. I want him to come to my house and spin the night with me, momma! Where did he go? Did he have to go home to his mommy and Daddy? Why? (mind you...she is asking all these questions without giving me time to answer them)I tried to answer some of the questions but it just did not satisfy her. So she would start back over with the questions. When we got to this gravel road- I think I took the long way home because I was so entertained by her thoughts- Sienna pointed over to this field and was like "LOOK! LOOK MOMMA! There is where E.T. came to (I am thinking she is talking about where the ship landed). Is he coming back here? To stay at my house and play with me? OH Momma! I miss him. I want him to come back...

I really tried hard to remember every detail of her sweet little conversation that I was blessed to be a part of. The love Sisi has for this alien she has only seen in a movie is precious. Then it got me thinking- am I this passionate about life? Do I ever get that excited over anything at all? It was similar to what we discussed in this Bible study I am in. I think about my salvation. I mean look at what my God has done for me. For all of us and when do i ever just start rambling on and on about how much I love him? NEVER! Then I just sat there in my car and wanted to cry. I wanted to slap myself. what is it that keeps me from having a child like heart and just get excited and not care what the world thinks. Am I too shy (probably not)? Am I too busy? Am I lazy? Am I complacent? Is it all the above? What will it take to get me to that point where I do what my heart feels like when I am driving in my car and a song comes on that brings tears to my eyes and I am so ready to do whatever God asks of me...or at least until I get to my driveway and start getting out of my car back to my life that shows no passion.

I wanted to write these blogs to keep my mind positive. It is so easy to write a journal and gripe and complain because my husband doesn't pick up after himself or take me on dates, but that is not what I want to dwell on. I want to see all the light in my life. All the blessings, even those that come through pain and suffering. From the funny things my kids do to the sweet drawings I find all over my house to the moments of tranquility I find for 5 minutes in my bathroom. Think like Christ would think takes a lot of effort for sure, but I am called to be like him and it starts with training our minds to be positive. To be happy. To love and be excited about this life God has given us.

Job 33:26-28-

26 then that person can pray to God and find favor with him,
they will see God’s face and shout for joy;
he will restore them to full well-being.
²⁷ And they will go to others and say,
‘I have sinned, I have perverted what is right,
but I did not get what I deserved.
²⁸ God has delivered me from going down to the pit,
and I shall live to enjoy the light of life.’

A Day in The Life of Crazy...

Why do we not have stock in the American Ambulance Association or UMC? Since my Adventures in Motherhood began 4 1/2 years ago, I have called 911 at least 4 times, been in 1 ambulance ride but had 3 come to me and numerous go to the E.R. on my own trips.

It all began after the twins 2 week (maybe it was 6 week- whichever one they get their first set of shots) doctors appointment with their shots and I needed to get out of the house, so I took the twins and my limo stroller to Target. When leaving, Kassidy started foaming at the mouth and it looked like she couldn't get air. I freaked (what's new) but couldn't get the dang car seat buckles undone to get her out. Thank the good Lord 2 Target workers were walking by and they were able to assist me while I called 911...That was the most expensive car ride I had ever been on- $1000 just for the ambulance to take me from Target in Ridgeland to UMC! Since then, I try not to actually "ride" in the ambulance. She was ok. They said it was her just learning how to swallow and she choked on some saliva. A few months later she rolled off the bed and passed out in which I had to run in my underwear (I told you I freak out and don't think straight) to my parent's house where the maid service was(luckily they were all women) and had to get them to watch Jake in the swing while my Dad came home to drive us to the hospital. $3000 later (CAT scans and such), she was fine.

Jake has also passed out a few times from getting upset and broken his arm and sliced his hand open with a metal tape measurer and spent 3 days in the hospital because his oxygen levels were too low. I think one of those accidents I was undressed as well and Jonathan was like "Are you going to put clothes on before we go to the hospital?" Nothing fits more perfectly than me sitting at UMC with a wife beater, yoga pants, flip flops and wet hair and my child in a t shirt, pull ups and bleeding hand! Why is it that you can only find a wife beater to wear in emergency situations?

So far, today's accident has been Sienna's first one; though, I am sure there will be many to come. Maybe she has just learned from her brother and sister just how far to push the limits, but I am more afraid she is going to try and top everything they do, including emergencies!

Luckily, all these incidents I can laugh at now. I have to pray hard for what lies ahead with the little rascals that I am watching fill up all the dump trucks with water and take to a hole in the backyard to fill up. No telling what their plans are for that hole, but they are loving every minute of whatever they are doing. Just please dear Lord, don't let anyone get hurt. I am sure the ambulance and fire station will bill us for the visit today!

Just Some of My Favorite Moments with My Kids!

So, I am trying to write a new post, but I am exhausted. For one, I got up Monday morning at 2 a.m. to get in line for a preschool for my kids this fall. WHAT!!!! Yes, I did. It is amazing the things you will do for your kids. I still haven't recovered because there has been something going on every moment for the past 2 days! I really love the school they are in now and HATE to leave, but the price is just way too much to pay with three kiddos. We did get in by the skin of our teeth, but that doesn't matter- WE ARE IN!

So, I have been sitting here thinking of all the crazy things my kids have done and said and thought, what the heck, I'll share them with you...

Dec 20th, 2009...Walmart...3 kids...enough said....no really, it was not a bad trip. At the checkout counter, Kassidy handed the guy some item and would say, "Here ya go little fella!" in a high pitched but soft voice...it was hilarious!

When my sister Alisa had her little girl, Deviney Claire, Jake decided he would call her "little bitty Alabama!" We still have no clue where he got that.

Jan 20th, 2010...Jake and Jonathan would play the memory game every night and since they both are very competitive, it was quite entertaining. Jake would yell out if he lost "This is ridiculous!" but it sounded more like REEDiculus.

Jake use to call escalators "Eskimos"

Feb 2010...Kassidy scolded our dog Charlie (who has since moved on to greener pastures) when he got her dress dirty, "No Charlie! You got me dirty and my momma dressed me Oh SO cute. Now I am dirty. No! No! No Charlie!

March 2010...while my mom was at our house eating a little birthday dinner with just the kids and I, Jake threw a book and it hit Sienna in the nose and busted it, blood everywhere! My mom looked at Jake and said. "Well, I am sure it was an accident right Jake?" and Jake so surely looked at her and said, "Nope, I did it on purpose!" OH, heaven help me!

At a friends birthday party, Jake was outside playing kick ball (or really just kicking the ball with another kid) and decided he had to pee, so he turns and finds a small hole in the fence and you guessed it- peed through the hole and went right back to kicking the ball. This comes from his father's side!

Kassidy and I were driving to a bridal shower about a year ago and she was rambling on about who knows what and I just replied, "That's cool Kassidy." Well, she quickly informed me that girls CAN NOT say cool. I asked her what then could I say and she sat there for a minute and said, "Hallelujah!"

Mother's Day 2010, Jake fell off Tia & Pop's swing set and was crying. We asked what he hit and he said "Da Ground!" It was hard not to laugh! I think he gets injured every mother's day (Along with every other holiday)

The twins asked why the pilgrims didn't ride over on jet skis (this was when they were 2)...It makes perfect sense to a 2 year old!

About a month after the kids started 3 year old preschool, I was just chatting with Kassidy and asked her what her favorite things to do at school was, and the little smarty pants answered, "No, mom, lets not do favorites!"

Kassidy decided to change her name (which she has done a few times before). This time it is Isabelle "For the rest of my life ok momma!" So Sienna changed her name to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Go figure) and Jake told me "Well Mom, you can just call me handsome!" Alrighty then Handsome!

This stuff goes on and on and on. I can't even write the super funny things because it would take FOREVER! I started keeping a journal about a year ago because they are so funny and interesting and aggravating all at the same time. Sienna does so many funny things, but I have such a hard time spelling the words she is saying- she really is hilarious and SO expressive with what she says.

Let's Get This Started!

Okay, so here I go...I am attempting to "Blog" though I am way behind. Everyone is now tweeting, but oh well. This blog is about my humerous and creative children. I am daily amazed at their ability to make me laugh or stump me or just get me off track. With two 4 year olds and an almost 3 year old, life is far far from dull or calm. The Birth Order Book was thrown out the window with my kids- it is like they are all first, middle and youngest all rolled up into one tiny little body. To keep myself sane, I decided to focus on their "good" characteristics. The ones that make me laugh, cry and just think about how amazing God's creation is. I did this by keeping a Happy Journal. I know that sounds cheesy, but that is exactly what it is. Don't just journal all the frustration of being a stay at home wife and mother, but journal all the HAPPY things. The ones to remember when they have had me committed.

Jake, my easily frustrated 4 year old, is all boy. There is a few ounces of sweetness in him that he gives to his momma (I TOTALLY understand the "momma's boy" phenomenon now). He loves baseball and anything gross and slimy he can find outside. The persistence of this kid is amazing. when he wants something and we say no or not now or wait or ANYTHING but yes, total meltdown! He doesn't let it go. It is worth a time outs and spankings- yes, I said spanking! I will probably say it quite a bit, so if it makes you uncomfortable- this blog ain't for you! My parent's spanked me and I turned out alright, though my husband might disagree at times, and have a normal loving relationship with them. Spankings do work and they are not bad like the world wants you to believe, but there is a time and place for them and MUST be done with Mr. DoRight...

Oh Mr. DoRight, the giver of all whippings! Though my mother said you would work, my children chose to befriend you instead. They are smart these little devils. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!" They get it, they really get it! It is impossible to spank while driving a car, no matter how long the "Object" you have is. I have had spatulas, switches, and paint can mixers- all drawn with the famous frowny face of Mr DoRight. I could hold it up anywhere when they were younger, and he would quiet them no problem. Then the day came when I took Mr. DoRight and the kids waved their hands up in the air and yelled, 'HEY! It's Mr. DoRight!" After that, the kids would asked me to hold him up so they could see him. Needless to say, I had to retire him and go back to plain ole threatening.

Kassidy is my sweet child. The one who will cuddle with me and color me pictures and sit quietly for hours by herself. Well, then she can be the child who is running through the house naked, screaming and laughing and completely ignoring me. By the way, she usually does this when we are suppose to be leaving the house to go eat or when getting in bed. She is super talented and strong as an ox. I really have a gold medal in mind for her future. No pressure, just gold! It's not like I am one of those crazed Toddler & Tiara moms.

Sienna, aka SiSi, is the baby who doesn't believe that she is the baby. She is Mary Poppins one day and the Little Mermaid the next. Though she is most concerned with the "pee-a apple!" This is what most would call the poisonous apple from Snow White, but Sienna has a SLIGHT speech problem. I was always told that this is normal in the youngest child and that their older siblings would translate for them. That is not so much the case in our family. For instance, one morning while driving to school, Sienna was telling me something and for the life of me I could not even pretend I understood her and she KNEW it! So, I asked Kassidy, what is your sister asking for? And very quickly, Kassidy responded, "I have no idea, she doesn't say words momma." No matter how frustrating dialogue between Sienna and myself, I can bring up Snow White or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or Mary Poppins and WHAM! problem solved. Distraction is key.

I sometimes feel God is watching down on my parenting skills and saying I am going to let her be pushed a little more, and even though I feel at the end of my rope multiple times out of a day, parenting has made me a better Christian. A better person. It has brought me to my knees and made me realize how important my prayer life is. So what if my kids think I talk to myself all the time. Kassidy did ask me who I was talking to one day which made me jump back for a second and think "Uh OH!" but I just told her that mommy needs to talk to God everyday. She asked me why, and I told her that God helps us do things better. Then I thought, the most important ministries that I have in my life are the three precious children who are painting my walls with nail polish, hiding in my closet behind my white jeans eating chocolate cupcakes, changing clothes for the tenth time in a 5 minute period, giving each other haircuts, and picking me weeds because they want me to have some "pretty flowers."